Itjaw

So today is the 30th anniversary of the first star wars movie release date. Apparently they’re using this to announce that there is going to be another star wars movie made (because George Lucas doesn’t have enough money or Oscars). The movie is going to be set before the Phantom Menace and should be just as bad.

On a more interesting note, today is international towel day! It’s to commemorate the death (and life) of the great writer (and great many other things) Douglas Adams who died on the 11th of may 2001. Douglas Adams is famous for writing The Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy which is excellent if you haven’t already read it. During which there are lots and lots of random things including: How to fly, Proof god doesn’t exist and lots of froods who know where there towel is.

Heres a quote that explains it better

“A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value – you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you – daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.”

Have a fantastic towel day!

Itjaw

Todays post is written in binary (this is bit isn’t though)… To read it, either learn binary or ask the internet. BTW to make it understandable you need to convert it to ASCII characters…

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I talked about Big Brother last week, but someone has shown me something even worse…

A station in America is making a reality show based on lord of the flies!

Now for those of you who haven’t read the book or seen the one of the movies lord of the flies is a book about a group of children who get stuck on a desert island… The boys soon turn fairly savage and well, crazy (around stage 6). In the end they start stabbing each other (resulting in death) with spears they’ve made. I don’t think the people who thought of it have read the book.

This isn’t one of these random things that is on the internet either, it’s being reported by the BBC check it out. (I don’t know how to do hyperlinks, so I’ll just put the site) http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/6670315.stm

Fingers crossed someone gets stabbed =-).

Itjaw

Ok, so I got another comment, by an entirely different person! Unfortunately this person knows the original person and seems just as delusional, oh well, I belong belong to that grouping of people as well…

If you haven’t see the comment then I suggest you have a look at it first, otherwise what your about to read isn’t going to make much sense…

I think the first problem we must explore is the fact that you’re sharing this with me, I’m very flattered that you want to discuss your penis with me but I think there is something very wrong who wants to discuss a fairly personal matter with someone they’ve never met (although I may have met you…) ,on the internet for everyone to read.

Secondly, the normal method I use to help people get over their intimacy issues is not possible though the internet ….

Maybe the reason you are not feeling aroused by looking at naked old laddies because you’ve looked at them too often (you may not think this is possible but bear with me). You need to mix “it” up a bit or your it will get bored. (quotation mark humour: Hilarious!)

I think the probability of you have five girlfriends is highly unlikely, I think the probability of you have one is slim… But on the of chance that you do, I would like to congratulate you on finding five women who are willing to A. Look at you (I don’t know that your ugly, I just presume it) and B. Let you look at old naked ladies to try and get “it”  going. (do you call your penis it? or are you just too immature to write penis? )

I’d like to thank you for all ready drawing attention to this matter with your name so I don’t have to spend to long on the topic…

I cannot offer you any help with your problem, except suggesting that you should start looking for multiple boyfriends.

Itjaw

P.S. Is your mother included as one of your five girlfriends?

So, almost everyone I have ever met hates Big Brother. It’s just presumed at this stage in things, I’ve stopped vetting people to see if I should talk to them by asking “Do you like big brother?” I thought everyone hated it, wasn’t sure why they were still putting it on T.V.

But I have found them! The people who actually watch the show every single night and actually care what some idiot says about some other idiot!

I was talking to some people when the subject of big brother came up (not entirely sure how…) so I voiced my highly unoriginal views and they were shocked! They said “Big Brother is the bestest show ever!” Which pissed me of in two ways:

1. Bestest isn’t a word, it’s not even close! it’s on about the same level as gooder

2. The words Big Brother and Best in the same sentence makes as much sense as bestest

I almost had a brain hemorrhage(had to look that one up on Google).

If you ever meet one of these people run in the opposite direction! Just save yourself the trouble of having to explain to them just how stupid they are.

Yes…

Itjaw

I just realised how bad Brian the Brain is, really bad…

I can’t be bothered to explain what was going though my head when I thought of it. Brian just isn’t a good write, whereas I’m a genius…

Itjaw